Having a qualified professional listen to and encourage you to say whatever you need in a non-judgemental manner, can make a tremendous difference to your quality of life. Therapy can show how your past experiences shape your present behaviour. You can gain insight into obstacles that are preventing you from living a fulfilling life. By learning to identify your feelings, you can act on them more effectively.
By collaborating with me, you will uncover your own self- knowledge and strengths and, in the process, identify your own solutions.
New to the therapy process? Below are some things to consider:
1. You might feel better
Even though your intent in seeking help may be to feel better about yourself and your life, this outcome could have surprising results. Your increased self-awareness, confidence, and new interpersonal skills will affect your relationships with others at both home and work. Many situations and relationships will work better but not everyone will be thrilled about your progress. Some people in your life may want the “old you” back because that is who suited their needs.
2. You might feel worse
We will work hard to understand the issues that inform your situation. The examination of problems and issues stirs up emotions. These feelings are often buried inside or bottled up just so you can cope with everyday life. This aspect of exploration can be uncomfortable, but is generally temporary and can provide deep insight. Clients generally do not engage in self-exploration unless they are willing and ready to do so, and I will not make you consider aspects of your life you do not want to explore.
3. It might take a long time
It took a while for your situation to take shape. Learning new ways to understand your life and shift your thinking and acting is a major undertaking. Try not to expect a quick fix. Beginning the therapeutic process is a major step and I will support you in learning to understand and accept yourself.
4. You might not change
Sometimes our patterns and habits are so deeply set that we find it too difficult to change our thinking or behaviour. This can be frustrating and you may be tempted to blame the therapy for not working. This is not a question of fault. People become who they are for many reasons and change occurs in complex ways and cannot be forced. You may wish to try another therapeutic approach with a different therapist, or allow some time to pass and try therapy at another point in your life.
Doing this work involves developing trust. I don’t expect you to immediately feel comfortable sharing intimate details about your life. I will remain consistent in providing a safe, and nonjudgmental setting for disclosure. Trust develops slowly, day after day, session after session.
Monique Silverman, MA, RCC, CCC